The Time of Year I HATE

I hate this time of year. When the semester winds down and I start stressing out about my living situation and school situation for next semester. School comes and goes too fast. I'm already going to be a junior in college. It seems like it was just yesterday that I graduated high school. Time just goes by way too fast.

I have to get an apartment. My goal is to have one by July. I HAVE to.

I'm going to teach myself graphic designing. I'm actually pretty good at the basics in photoshop and manipulating  but I want to take it to another level. I feel as though I can create true art.

I am working on my other website as well as trying to get my old blog up and running again.

I am very grateful that I started working again. I am satisfied. I am just ready for Summer to kick in so I can save my money, live carefree, and finally get my own place.

I try not to let things stress me out, but lets be real here...

This Summer is going to be amazing, I feel as though it's going to be very productive and a lot of doors will open up for me. I am excited and ready.

Positive thinking brings positive being.

Reality Hasn't Set In

I think I am still in shock. It still hasn't sunken in yet that I got the job. It feels too good to be true. Blessed.

Finally, It's Getting Better...The Secret

Things are finally getting better. It took long enough but you know, as I've been saying, it's always darkest before dawn...With about four real weeks left of my second semester of college, I finally found a job. I haven't been without a job for so long in my life. It started scaring me because New York is home for me, so when school lets out, it's on with life for me. That means I have to find a place to stay, make money, pay rent, and so on.

It seems as though nobody was hiring when I was looking, Store X(ALIAS). I went to an interview at Store X MANY weeks ago. I stood in line for almost an hour, was asked my availability and was sent on my way. A few weeks later, I got an email from the same Store X asking me to come in for an interview. I thought it would be a "second interview" however, it was another waste of my time. I was asked my availability once again and was sent on my way. After that, I completely gave up. There were no ad's going up on craigslist besides different Store X locations. I checked craigslist EVERYDAY, faithfully. I really had given up. Sometime late last week or early this week I saw more ad's for different Store X locations. I saw that one was hiring in the same area my last two retail jobs were located. I contemplated going...

I watch a woman on youtube who constantly talks about The Secret. I've always been intrigued by her testimonies (and hair videos) and I finally decided to give in and watch the movie and download the book. I started incorporating The Secret to my life daily. Not once did I say to myself "I probably won't get the job", because "thoughts become things". I just kept saying to myself "I will get this job, thank you for this job."...

8:00am hit and my alarm went off. I laid in my bed contemplating whether or not I should get up for this interview. So many thoughts ran through my head. From the struggle I've been though these past few months without money, my parents, my laziness...I started feeling guilty about it all and I reminded myself of The Secret and thought "it couldn't hurt, this might be it." I finally got up which was extremely hard for me since I haven't seen "morning" in MONTHS. I showered, got dressed and headed to the interview...

I arrived early, like 9:47am. I went in asked if the interviews were being held and was told it was being held at 10:00am which I knew. I waited in a nearby McDonalds for 10:00am. When it finally hit I walked inside and there were about 5 people waiting ahead of me. We waited for about 5 minutres before we were told to follow this employee where the interview will be held. We finally got downstairs and somehow 10+ people ended up ahead of me. I stayed positive. It was finally time for me to go and I was asked REAL interview questions. Once that was over, I was hired on the spot! The Secret worked! I was so happy. They asked me if I wanted time to think about it to accept the offer but I told them "no, no, I will take it!" They are offering to pay me less than all of my other jobs but I can NOT complain. It is a job and it's somewhere that I fit in! I had to go home to get some required documents but when I returned I was immediately sent to fill out some paperwork. Everything went so smoothly and I am BEYOND GRATEFUL. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, everything took a turn for the better. I will never manifest a negative thought again. The mind is very powerful and so is The Almighty God. 

I attracted this job with the help of God. I am very thankful. 

Note to Self

"God is about to shake things up. This is not the season for complacency!" - M. Phifer 

I woke up this morning and checked my dead social networks that I don't even use and as I scrolled down my twitter feed someone retweeted a minister. His tweets were, "GOD is able" and "GOD is up to something", I then closed out of twitter and logged on to Facebook, the first thing that I saw was the  quote above by someone I really admire. Those quotes gave me a bit of a pick me up. I woke up today with nothing in mind but where am I going to live. I still do not know but, "God is up to something" so I should not worry right?

Stressed Out!

I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I am stressed out.
I'm stressed out because May is rapidly approaching and I do not know where I will be in life. I have no money, no plans, and no destination. I have no direction right now and I am living up in the air. It is scaring me so much. On top of that, I am trying to find the money to study abroad next semester which also includes me finding money so that I can return to school next Spring. Here is my dilema.


1. I don't have anywhere to live as of now.
2. I don't have a job so...basically I'm "homeles"(hypothetically speaking)
3. Say I do find the money to study abroad and I don't find the money to come back in the Spring. I can't go home and I won't have anywhere to live when I return to New York.
4. Say I don't find the money to study abroad next year or for next Spring. I can't go back home, and I will be forced to to find my own apartment (I have no credit, so who is going to give me an apartment), pay bills I probably won't be able to afford on a retail salary etc.

I know this isn't me being optimistic but I'm just thinking of what reality might slap me in the face with. I am thinking of all the possibilities and things that can go wrong.

I usually speak things into existence but right now, all I can think of is all the things that could possibly go wrong. This semester has been ridiculous and it's almost over. I can't believe it. I can not believe how fast college is going. I can't keep up. Sigh. God said he wouldn't give us more than we can handle. He also found a way for me to return to school this year as well as get to college last year. I truly have been through a lot. I try to remind myself of that everyday. I try to remind myself that it's always darkest before dawn, or however that saying goes. Anyway, I have a campaign out, it's actually a site that allows me to receive donations for school. I highly doubt that any of my readers would donate to my college fund, but it's worth the try. Every dollar counts. Once you read my campaign and see how much I am asking for, you will see why I am so stressed out. Anyway. Here's the campaign if any of you are interested in helping my Study Abroad next semester...every dollar counts. I feel like I'm emotionally eating. I just, I can't with my situation right now.

http://www.gofundme.com/28n06w

20 Before 20

I've never done anything like this before, but this November I will be turning 20 and I want to come up with 20 things I want to do before my 20th birthday. This should be interesting. [List coming soon.]

Politics? WTF!

I have to do a blog about politics for my Multimedia Communications course. Out of all the (5) topics that were on the board I got chosen to do politics! I don't care about politics what so ever. Like, I just don't. It has to be five posts. I'm dying here.